The first night that I broke up with you I barely slept at all. I woke up and I remember thinking I was blind because my eyes were so puffy I didn’t think I could open them anymore. I was a mess. And so I called in sick and I stayed in bed the entire day drinking tea and staring into space. I thought of all the signs and felt so fucking stupid. Why couldn’t I see it? She was the only other girl you danced with at prom besides me, but I didn’t think anything of it then because.. well.. she was one of my closest friends. And fuck you for that, WE WERE FRIENDS! And then a feeling of betrayal and disgust towards her ebbed its way through me. She was just as much at fault here as you are. I checked my phone. No messages, no missed calls, nothing. But there was no preparing me for what was to come a day later. I got to hand it to you though. You jump back up pretty fucking fast. Rather not waste time, eh, Keith? Because a day later I open your facebook and find an open chatbox of you with her. I know I shouldn’t have read it, I knew what I was in for, but I still did. And let me tell you, each word felt like a bullet to the heart. And that convo was long. Cheers to you and your knew girlfriend, asshole.
We arrived at the skate park and I hear the familiar scraping of skateboards on cement. Here and there people greet Jason. He’s that kind of guy who’s everyone’s friend. I sit on the grass and he gives me his backpack to sit on. I permit myself a cigarette and watch the boys play. I was just starting to feel lightheaded when I heard someone call out, “Hey, Keith! What took you so long, man?” and I shot a glance at your direction. All at once I felt my heart breaking again. You skate right past me, so close and so fast that my hair flew away with the speed that you were going. Asshole.
I looked away and tried to watch other skaters when I caught Jason’s eyes intently on me, looking at me like he could feel my pain. I couldn’t understand it, but I see the pain in his eyes. I didn’t know why but I felt bad somehow like I knew I was the reason for it. I smiled at him then and gave him a thumbs up and he proceeded to go on with his game. I laid down on the cool moist grass and looked up at the stars. I light another cigarette and take a long drag, feeling it in my lungs, and then I open my mouth and slowly blow them away watching the moonlight fight its way through the smoke.
You sat down beside me then. I knew it was you without even looking. I haven’t been this close to you in a long time. I catch your scent and it was like poison, intoxicating me, smothering me. I couldn’t breathe.
“Can I have a cigarette?” you ask me, and for a moment I’m paralyzed.
To be continued~