(I suggest you read part I first before proceeding to read this)
The cafeteria has fallen silent by the sight of me. This is a rare occasion. I look straight forward and start walking, oblivious of the eyes intently on me. Fried chicken, fried chicken, fried chicken, I think to myself. I was taking my time in the long line. Jason is been telling me jokes again and he manages a few genuine laughs out of me. But finally, we got our lunches and there’s no holding back what’s to come. I turn around and take in the scene. People have gone on with their lunch routines. I scan the room for an empty seat and it was hard knowing that it used to be always next to you. I feel Jason touch the small of my back and lead me to a table with our classmates. I smile at them and they smile back, but I can feel the awkwardness. Luckily he sweeps in and gets the conversation going again. It amazes me how he’s so good with people. He can socialize for the both of us.
I eat my lunch quietly and I permit myself a peek at you. You were looking at me while she was talking to you and when you realized I caught you, you looked at her and played with her hair. Bastard. I stared at my fried chicken like it was a disgusting piece of crap. “What’s wrong? Does your chicken have hair in it or something?” he asks and the way he said it was made to be a joke and I manage a small laugh, “no no, I just lost my appetite.”
I was having a really good day one Monday and you just left and I was with a bunch of my friends. One of them was looking really glum so I asked him what was wrong and he just shrugged me off. I was determined to find out what was bothering him and then he looked me straight in the eye for a few minutes. “I need to tell you something” he said. And that’s when I found out. About you telling her you loved her, about her saying she loved you back. About how you two, being classmates, were inseparable and how I knew nothing of it. I called you when I got home. My voice was calm, I don’t know how I could have managed that. I told you what I found out and you fell silent. “Well?” I asked, “Is it true?”. Nothing. “Well?” I said again, feeling my face grow hot and my eyes prickling promising tears to come. “Yes, I told her I loved her, but that was a long time ago” you say rather very quickly. “Do you still want her?” I ask, my voice breaking. “No. No. I want you” you said. But the damage was done, I was humiliated, my heart crushed, and I broke up with you. I hung up the phone and I felt myself fall to the floor and then the sobs came out and I felt like I was drowning in my own tears.
Classes have ended and again I found myself perfectly still while the chaos that is dismissal went past me. I was barely aware that Jason was sitting next to me again when the door slammed closed, notifying us that we were alone. “I don’t want to go home yet, can I come over?” I asked him. He smiled, “Sure.”
We got back to his place and I was greeted by his mother offering us snacks. I sat on their couch eating the warm soup his mom served. Soup is good, it makes you feel all warm inside. He takes out the guitar and the piano and we start playing songs and for a while there I was enjoying myself. “Hey, take me to that skate place you always go to.” He stops dead in the middle of a tune and looks at me hard. “No. I won’t. I won’t let you do this to yourself”, he says with a look of frustration on his face. “Do what? I want to see you skate. It relaxes me. You look funny when you do your tricks, you look like a chicken thinking he could fly” I joke around, but I know he can see right through me. “Please? Just please take me there. It’ll be the last time I promise.” He looks at me for a long time trying to decide and I can see that this is hard for him. But at last he sighs and takes out his skateboard.
To be continued~